Dialogue Tags—Writing for Clarity
Dialogue Tags — Make Your Dialogue Shine
What Are Dialogue Tags and When Is It Best to Use Them?
People, meaning writers, seem to mess this up a whole lot. In an attempt to sound “writerly” or make it appear as if they are experienced authors, they use ridiculous dialogue tags when they shouldn’t. If you want to make your dialogue shine, it’s not that difficult. As is typical, writing for clarity is the way, and it’s simple.
What do I mean? It’s simple.
I’m going to provide a list of acceptable tags (a list provided to students for reference), but it’s not a list I’d recommend using. (I looked through some books and found every one of these, and it didn’t take me too long. I had to peruse about 18 books, but eventually, I found them all.) Let me add one last comment–if you want your dialogue to shine, do not use these.
| LIST OF ACCEPTABLE DIALOGUE TAGS | ||||
|---|---|---|---|---|
| acknowledged | admitted | agreed | answered | argued |
| asked | barked | begged | bellowed | blustered |
| bragged | complained | confessed | cried | demanded |
| denied | giggled | hinted | hissed | howled |
| inquired | interrupted | laughed | lied | mumbled |
| muttered | nagged | pleaded | promised | questioned |
| remembered | replied | requested | retorted | roared |
| sang | screamed | screached | shouted | sighed |
| snarled | sobbed | threatened | wailed | warned |
| whimpered | whined | whispered | wondered | yelled |
If you’re writing for clarity, here’s the List I’d Recommend
| DIALOGUE TAGS |
|---|
| said |
| asked |
| yelled or hollered |
Why such a difference? Because the others are not needed, and, some say, make the work appear ridiculous. Let’s look at it.
What are Dialogue Tags?
What are dialogue tags for? What purposes do they serve?
Dialogue tags are typically used to let the readers know who is speaking, and what mood they’re in. It’s tough work, and because of that, many writers rely on excessive dialogue tags (usually stemming from laziness), hoping that the tags will do the work for them. If your goal is writing for clarity, and you want your dialogue to shine, that is not the way to go about it.
An example can be seen in this, taken from a mystery book I recently read.
“Get out of my house!” Susan roared emphatically.
There is a lot wrong with that sentence, starting with the fact that we didn’t need to know it was Susan who was speaking. From the context of the scene, we knew it was Susan who was speaking.
Though exclamation points are not my favorites and should be used sparsely, it would have been fine in that sentence, however, if the author kept the exclamation point, they didn’t need the rest.
“Get out of my house!” would have been sufficient, and, in fact, would have had more impact in my opinion. I already said we didn’t need to know Susan was speaking, and the use of the exclamation point would have sufficed as a tool to replace the roared and emphatically. It would not have affected your goal of writing for clarity, and the occasional, but the sparse use of the exclamation point, would make your dialogue shine.
Readers don’t need to be told—with tags—that a character laughed, cried, shuddered, sobbed, felt fear, or was ashamed, or experienced any other emotion. They should know by the dialogue itself, or the actions of the characters while they speak.
Clarification
What do I mean?
Suppose you’re reading a book where the husband and wife are arguing, and you come to a scene where one of them turns to the other and says,
“Grow up,” she said, then slammed the door as she walked out.
By the “grow up” comment, we know she is accusing him of acting infantile. We know it’s her speaking by the use of “she,” and we know she’s pissed by the way she slammed the door, and then walked out.
We could have said, “Grow up,” Susan said, furiously.
But we didn’t need to use her name again, and if we use furiously, the reader is left to imagine what furiously is. What degree of anger is that? In the first example, we’re providing them with the perfect example–the example we wan—of her slamming the door. It’s an image the reader can imagine and most likely empathize with. It’s one they’ve probably experienced. And nothing could be better than that. Give the readers examples that they can relate to. It will improve you writing for clarity goals, and it will undoubtedly make your dialogue shine.
Allow Readers to Experience Emotions
If I want to evoke an emotion—say fear or panic—I put the reader in a situation like a mother who loses her child at the beach or a carnival.
Readers can then picture that woman looking around, eyes bulging, panicking, screaming the child’s name, heart racing, throat tightening. They can empathize with this because they have either experienced it themselves, or they know someone who has, or they’ve at least seen that kind of situation in a TV show or a movie.
On the lighter side of things. If you want a writing rule to follow. I know you’ve all heard the rule of “show, don’t tell.” This is no different. Writing clarity is all about showing.
When you use dialogue tags (especially adverbial ones), you are telling the readers how you want them to feel. It’s not much different than having a stagehand holding up signs during the performance of a play, and the signs have written on them in big, bold red letters, it’s time to cry or time to laugh.
Yes, it’s that bad.
You don’t need to tell the readers that your character went down the hall slowly (or walked slowly down the hall). If your goal is writing for clarity, you’ll find other ways, such as, she tiptoed down the hall, or she crept down the hall, or she climbed the stairs, one-at-a-time, careful not to make them creak.
I’m willing to bet that at one point in their lives, every reader, or most of them, has tried going up a set of stairs without them making a sound. This is an action they can imagine, they can visualize. It will have a far greater impact on them then ‘went up the stairs slowly’. The same applies to tiptoeing and ‘walked down the hall slowly.’
I’m not crazy about dialogue tags in any sense, but I try to avoid adverbs like the plague. (How’s that for a cliché?)
How to Avoid Adverbial Dialogue Tags
I do my best to let the words speak for themselves. Picture yourself blind, and you’re sitting in a room with a group of people. You should be able to tell who’s talking by things other than sight. The cadence (easily applied by emphasizing), manner of speaking (Do they speak in long sentences, stutter, use incomplete sentences?), vocabulary (simple, complex), use of contractions—or not, use and frequency of offensive language.
All of these and more, make up a character’s ‘voice personality’ and just like you could tell if it is your brother or someone else in the room next to you, your readers should be able to do the same with each of your characters—your main ones anyway.
One Last Look at Dialogue Tags
Let’s examine that table of tags and look at them one-by -one to see which ones are useful.
Can you “smile” a saying
“grin” a response
“giggle” or “bark” a reply?
Instead of ‘saying’ or “telling” a character interrupted someone, show it by using an em dash. Or make use of the ellipse to indicate missing words or a pause in thought.
Don’t tell your readers that someone mumbled, have the other character ask what they said, and then clarify by saying “you were mumbling.”
Examples of Writing for Clarity Are As Follow:
More can be found here.
Ted lowered his head as he turned his back to his mother. “I’m going to the mall.”
“What did you say, young man? Speak clearly, and don’t try to hide what you’re doing. Mumble again when I ask a question, and you’ll go to your room. Understand? Was that clear enough?”
If I were a reader, I’d understand what happened there, and it would be more interesting than saying he mumbled. I’ve had teenagers. I can relate.
Using replied or answered is just plain ridiculous. If the character is addressing the other person, then by definition they are replying or answering. We are aware of that as soon as they start talking.
Using words like bragged or demanded are worse than redundancies. If you have a desire to say someone bragged then they obviously must have said something positive about the individual, so we can infer that they were bragging. The same thing with the word demanded. The dialogue will make it obvious.
Let the Dialogue Speak for Itself
The table above, and unfortunately, too many books, are loaded with examples. Try to remember that you almost never need a dialogue tag to explain your dialogue. Let the dialogue speak for itself.
Think about it another way. You don’t have a third party following you around explaining your dialogue and actions, do you? I hope not because it would be ridiculous. Imagine the scene—you’re at the table and holler across the kitchen to your wife. What’s the hell’s for dinner? Then a third party shouts, he said impatiently, and with anger.
Trust me, your wife would know by your tone and your words, that you were both impatient and angry, and you’d be fortunate if she didn’t hit you with a frying pan. But the point is, she didn’t need a third party to interpret for her.
So the next time one of your characters are tempted to laugh, or grin, or smile an answer—think again, and maybe just have them say it.
“I’m sorry. I can’t help you.” He held up his glass, as if saluting, and said, “But thanks for the wine.”
“Enjoy it,” Rosa said. “It will be the last glass you’ll get from me.” She stormed up the stairs.
From this dialogue alone we know she’s angry. we don’t need to be told. So, “Rosa said angrily” or any such tag would be unnecessary.
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